You think you have it hard. The only words I ever hear from you are complaints. You wallow in self pity. Loathe everything and everyone around you. Constantly lashing out at others. The pain never ceases and you always wonder why. Why you. Why now. Suddenly you’ve progressed from self pity to suicidal. Now you want to kill yourself. Maybe you’re better off dead, you think. Its easier to just end it now. Leave the pain and run away.

I’ve told you straight out. You are a coward. There are a million people out there on Earth who have had to face problems worse than yours. You don’t have enough money? Go get a job. You don’t like your family? Love them. They wont be there forever. You have an abusive dad? Stop being a bum, go get a job, and make something of yourself so you can get away from him. I am so sick of listening to you complain all day long. There are people who just saw their parents shot in front of them. Girls who have just been raped, and brothers who have just been sold to the highest bidder. GROW UP. You have life easy. You think having an iPhone and a new car is hard? Gee, it must be really hard to not have to worry about how you’re going to eat dinner or pay for the roof over your head. Really hard. I feel so bad for you that you have to worry about what shoes you’re going to wear to match what. Or what you’re going to spend your parents $50 on.

If you are going to threaten to kill yourself, then go ahead, Take control of your life. But understand the damage and consequences that act can cause. Suicide is selfish. But more than that it is stupid. You affect not only your family but your friends as well. So stop running away from your problems and don’t blurt out such awful threats if you cant handle the consequences. Because there are people out there who are suicidal. They are clinically depressed. And for someone like you, only blurting it out for the attention, is nothing short of despicable. Its people like you that give depression the bad name. People like you who get all drugged up because you think it will get you attention and then complain about the affects.

Honestly? You disgust me.

"People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you’re successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind. Think big anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack if you help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you might get hurt. Give the world the best you’ve got anyway." 

Farewell Grandpa John, On a last note, I leave you with a picture of the same castle you once painted. From the time i was born, i remember talking with you, only a few steps away at the most. From gardening to painting to computer trouble in this new age, I loved spending time with you and Grandma Rita. Something i now regret that as i grew older and become busier, i slowly stopped finding time for you. Stopped visiting, stopped calling. And not you’re gone. I never did get to paint with you. We were supposed to look for butterflies. Perhaps in another lifetime. Until then, I love you.

Rest In Peace.

John Deacon 11/29/2011

"That’s why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like toss starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn’t constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered— not my family or your family or anyone else in the world. It was just us."